The "lights" of the season

Due to circumstances beyond my control, It's Hanukkah and my menorah, and candles are lost in a wall of boxes in the very cold basement, I resolved to either do without or go buy one at party supermarket for $5. Then after working late last Friday, an email was waiting for me when I got home, from and old friend back east wishing me a happy Hanukkah. It was then, I decided that my "lights" this year, are going to be people. People who make my heart 'light', make me 'light' when they come into the room. They make my load 'light' with encouragement and humor. These are candles I prey never burn out because they light of friendship, respect, care and love. I wish everyone a happy holiday free from over spending, expectations, drama, dogma and embarrassing drunk dialed phone calls.

Mentors..et al..

i had coffee with a friend Sunday morning. The subject of Mentors came up several times. It made me think about how important the process has been to me. How being Mentored has made me a stronger, stable more self reliant member of the community. Everyone thinks it was a sexual experience. More about being naked, both literally and figuratively but safe and secure. intimate Oh! Yes! Sexual, yes, but not in the porn star view most have. but it was a life lesson experience. Less about protocols and what side to wear your keys. More about values, trust, feelings and honesty . Things that are universally important in every relationship M/s, Husband /wife, team mates,
Never being one to allow myself to get too comfortable, i will be taking on some new responsibilities. i hope to contain all drama to polite, private emails and civil coffee meetings (So help me, Miss Manners). However my path takes me, i am truly looking forward to my new adventures serving the community and helping to raise money for the most inspirational Scholars in the world

Unity in the Community

It's amazing how easy it is to be manipulated. How threatened some can be over anothers success. i really believe that i fell to prey to such a plan this week and hope i didn't lose a friend in the process. i guess everyone has their agenda and am always surprised when mine and theirs are not the same, even as we work together for a similar goal.
It's also amazing when you discover just who your friends really are. I have mentioned in earlier posts about being surprised when someone unexpected lends a hand and helps in a very profound way. It's great when things are going your way and everybody likes you, but it's the ones who are still around helping to clean up after the party is over, that are really your friends. i have had a few, i didn't expect, show them selves this week, and for that i am profoundly grateful.

So, there was this meeting...

i thought it was just the 3 of us, but there ended up being 30+ years of history that bantered about the room. Ghosts of the passed on and references to people who now go by another name in another city. People before their reassignment surgery, before Aubrey's Playroom. Seminars Tony DeBlase held and things He demonstrated, the original recipes for Doomed Rabbit cookbook and Michale Young's artwork all told me an amazing tale of a city, before and during the ravages of AIDS. None of my generation is untouched by AIDS, and many of us are still scared by the experience. I read for the first time a vaccine is really in the testing stage. At last!

Northwest leatherSir, joins the Tony DeBlase Scholarship Campaign

So, BIG things are happening on the scholarship front. With the 2010 Northwest LeatherSir, joining forces with the Tony DeBlase team, there was a considerable buzz around the community this weekend. I see His support as a HUGE bonus and know He is going to do a great job and be a big help. Fundraisers are in the works and i am truly excited. It's gratifying to see the community come together and feel real support for a cause i have been a part of since it's inception. There is a lot of work, a lot of fun and a lot of surprises coming up. i can't wait to get started

Once again i would like to ask , if you haven't already, please donate $5 (or more) a month (or week) to the Tony DeBlase scholarship via the Pridefoundation.org. Please notate check or money order, with "Tony DeBlase" so it goes to the right account It's a beer or a cup of coffee, that you would be giving up for a student to have tuition, or books. To me it seems like a good value. Starbucks doesn't need the extra money! Pennies for scholars banks will be popping up soon. Please, even 1 cent will help.

Some say the speech, i gave was brilliant, other say they didn't hear it all, so i have transcribed it below

..."Any questions", He asked

"Sir, Will i look foolish?"

He smiled and shrugged and said "I don't know, that all depends on you"

With that, he shaved my head, for the first time.


That was a big step for me, but just a small particle of who i am.
How do i tell You who i am in 2 minuets or less?
i am my brothers, my mentor
i am Anita Bryant, Jerry Falwell
i am my first love, every broken heart, a haiku in Drummer Magazine
i am a pair of boots that gave me a boner, in the store window
i am a guy, who was sitting at the dinner table the evening my Mentor told us of His plan to start a scholarship fund
i am the guy who was flipping burgers down the street to raise money for the endowment
i am everyone i ever hurt or helped and all that have hurt or helped me.

i am a friend of the The Pride Foundation a worthy organization who, strengthen our community through their network of generosity

Who am i?
i am Corey Krantz
reminding you, the future is in our hands.
Please actively support the Tony DeBlase scholarship fund
(9/5/09)

It would be easy to put the contest stuff back into a box and let it sit for a year till I decide weather or not to enter again or just enjoy the experience and move on. But that isn't my style. Besides I still have the same agenda I did before the contest and see no reason why losing should change that. In reality, I have more time, with less obligations than the winners. So, my plan is to ask everyone I know to join me in donating $5 a month (or more, if possible) to the Pride Foundation. Please add a memo and mention Tony DeBlase so the money gets put in the right account. Remember my analogy about a blade of grass... one doesn't seem very significant, but a bunch of them, can make for a beautiful well manicured lawn.

The scholarship, as it stands, will help students for many years, but it is only 'seed' money, helping to cultivate, but not enough to really give the students the foundation to to thrive. I must tell you that the scholars that apply and receive money from the Tony DeBlase scholarship are an amazing group. Amazing enough, that one old man on the committee was so inspired, that he entered a contest to help raise public awareness and money for the scholarship.

Didn't win...

So, didn't win. but didn't clear the room either. The day was mostly frustrating, hurry up, to sit and wait, kill a few hours, hurry up, sit and wait. The contest was a lot of fun and I think the right guys won. The other contestants were all really excellent men who really care about the community and will do a great job. The judges , producers, sound and light and backstage crew couldn't have been nicer or more professional. So many helped and offered support I am so grateful.
i feel i have made new friends out of this and hope others feel the same way about me. my work for the scholarship and the Pride Foundation will not suffer because of this loss, but it gives me more time to concentrate on fund raising schemes. With kind people offering support only goes to encourage me
Thank you all!

puzzle pieces

All the pieces are falling together nicely. Saturday, the missing pieces became visible and I feel really good about what I am going to do. Sorry if i sound like a broken record but, as I have said several times, I am touched that so many have offered help, support and encouragement. Team work has made all the difference and despit spending outrageous lengths of time looking at my self in different outfits and waffling weather or not to wax up my handlebars... I pretty much have what I need.
Again this is not a solo act, the Pride foundation has been very cool, and timely with scholarship materials. No matter how exasperated, GLPW has been great about answering more questions that anyone can imagine in a timely, professional manner . There have been some great guys to cross my path the past couple weeks. I don't kiss and tell, but damn I have lucked out with some handsome men who know how to work a guy over. Hell, I am still purring from the party Friday (thanks Jim for letting me crash it)!

WWjD

So, The contest is upon us. Things are still less than settled, but I am still confidant that everything will work itself out. When things start to get too crazy and I am losing my sense of humor, I realize that this is about having fun, making contacts and building the scholarship fund. When it's gotten out of control and I find myself hitting my head against the desk, because my friends (they know who they are) are making me crazy, i step back and ask myself...

WWjD?
What Would jeffy Do?

For those who didn't get to know Jeff, I can't really properly describe him. A caricature? A cartoon? A genius? All of the above? None of which could do him justice. Few knew him well enough to understand him, and not that i did, but his impact on me was profound. All the wonderful things I have written about Seattle would likely not have been in my reality without jeff's influence.

My first visit to Seattle began about dusk, one June evening when the Airport van delivered me to a dark forbidding home in Columbia City. Gabriel, the huge Newfoundland dog, barking. Hell, even the van driver was concerned about leaving me at this scary location "That dog sounds hungry" he warned. As I opened the solid door, the only opening through the dense laurel hedge, I spotted jeff, smiling welcoming-ly. I tipped the driver, thanked him and told him i was sure i was in safe surroundings .

Only a handful of people can fully appreciate all the any things that made jeff's light shine as brightly as it did. Recently, a date and I were chatting about some of the guys we had dated, locally. He told me a rather unflattering description of a A.D.D. freak, who had no social skills. (imagine being in the crowded Cinarama, and waving at people way up in the Balcony!). Eventually he came to the part where I couldn't allow him to continue. I told him of what a loyal friend, jeff was and how he had really missed an opportunity to meet real genius and an amazing wisdom, although most likely, delivered by the voice Yoda.

No, my friend did not exaggerate his description of jeff, but all he saw was one side. knowing jeff has caused me to look deeper into others, but rarely finding the brilliance, charity, wisdom and yes silliness that kept jeff in awe and wonder about everything, from a snow flake to digital camera.

Of the few who really knew him none will ever forget him

One day, i hope to be a boy... like jeff

WWjD?

A Little (a LOT) help from my friends

If i won the lotto, i'm sure there would be all sorts of 'friends' I hadn't met yet, waiting for me. But I am surprised how many people have gone out of their way to offer help, good advise and words of encouragement, it really warms my heart. Time is short and things are really starting to get busy. There are last minuet things to get and then there is stuff I never thought of that I won't be able to compete without. So, as contest week looms, I need to polish everything from my leathers to stage presence YIKES! what have I gotten myself into?

Notes on leather

In an effort to get ready for the contest, it occurred to me that I have no idea what leather fits any more and what doesn't so, picture this: Me naked. All my leather in various heaps on my bed, the chair, the floor. No, I don't have THAT much, but it was everywhere. Me, trying on various combinations. Do these boots make my ass look big? Gosh, my leather pants feel just wonderful, like old friends, yeah, put them in contest pile. Enter the chaps. I found them, or they found me at a garage sale in San Francisco, from my first trip in '92. I don't get to wear them often and the zippers have been a problem. After all, there is only so much stress those poor little zippers can withstand. After a week in the repair shop, the moment of truth. It was like the first time I put them on, except they knew instinctively where to bend at the knee and that wonderful way they caress my calves. . This is a big reason I love to wear leather. In this case the clothes don't make the man (or boy). But the clothes do make this guy feel great! They may not make my butt look any smaller, but they do feel wonderful, I do walk taller wearing them. It's nice to have old friends

meetings meeting meetings

Now the work begins. What to wear? What say? What to NOT say? Remembering names and now, meetings, meetings, meetings. I don't do meetings well, but all these are with people who are wanting to help me. For that I am especially grateful. Nice people taking time out of their busy day to help me speak, if not intelligently, factually. People working to benefit the scholarship. Me having chaps that zip, is lovely, but the real reason for all of this, is to benefit the scholarship. I see my job as giving a face and voice to the scholarship. Only time will tell weather I get tongued tied, say fuck too many times and call the judge, by his lover's ex's name.

10 years ago...

10 years ago , this month, my car rolled off I-90 and on to Rainer Ave the first time. For two weeks prior, I had driven diagonally across America from Miami Florida to Seattle Washington. 4000 miles! the trip west was a dream come true. The St Louis Arch, Mt Rushmore, The Devils Tower (from close encounters), Yellowstone National park , and the of course The Corn Palace were all places I never believed I would see. A few months after I got here, I was asked ' How are you liking Seattle?' I replied. I LOVE it here. He replied, 'you're still in honeymoon mode'. Ten years later, I am STILL in honeymoon mode. Each morning as the bus lumbers toward downtown there is something amazing that catches my eye. The Olympic Mountains , Mt Rainier, Downtown Seattle's big buildings, The Space Needle, the ferries headed into or out of a fog bank, something almost always makes me feel like pinching myself, because I feel so lucky to be here

Ducks in a row

Not having an internet connection at home gave me time to get my contest stuff in order. The big delay for me was I needed an envelope! Realizing this came at a perfect time, as I was at the post office and there wasn't a line. So there were no excuses short of a little insecurity. So sucking it up, I signed and sealed everything and mailed the whole mess in. So, I am at the point of no return. I feel good and I am getting lots encouragement. Win or lose, it's going to a fun ride

The Gods must be crazy

The Tech Gods were all against me yesterday morning. I ended up sitting next to vile smelling man at the library using a public computer, having just finished with the ISP people who did nothing but waste alot of my time. Ultimately, I needed a new modem for my computer, a new sim card for my phone and new zippers for my chaps.
It's gonna be a busy week, and it's off to a bumpy start. I was so frazzled, I had to turn to outside stimulus to calm my nerves. Yes sometimes even I need help to cope. My sedative took the form of a big, bowl...of pho. Pho, for those who don't know is Vietnamese noodle soup. Beef broth, rice noodles, cilantro, sliced brisket soy beans, jalapeno slices and a squeeze of lime. Maybe it was my mood, but it was exceptional. The brisket was just like my Mom used to make, I think that is what I really like about it. That and it's the only small thing that fills me up.

Everyone has too much of something

Everyone has more than they need of something. Some have too much time. Others have too much talent. Without getting political, President Obama's plea to volunteer is very worthwhile. Everyone admires thoses who went off to hurricane ravaged New Orleans after the storm, to help. But you don't have to go 1000's of miles or be a wealthy professional. You, can help out around the corner from your home. Volunteering your time and energy can be very rewarding on so many levels. If you generally meet people online or in bars and aren't happy with the quality of people you're meeting, try donating time to an organization that you admire. My Dad told my once "You never know where you are going to meet your best friend". He was right.
For many, it's tough to give up hard earned money for things like scholarships, when there are SO many other worthy organizations that need help, after all food banks, hospices, animal shelters natural disasters, are always in need. For me, I had a recurring payment, I would make through my bill payer application, through my bank, I sent the Pride foundation $5 a month. I liked this, because I could still control when the payment went out but didn't need to remeber to write a check or pay for postage. Frankly, I can piss away $5 on a beer or coffee treat without giving it a second though. It doesn't seem like a lot, but I know a lot of others were doing the same. Just like a blade of grass , not very significant in and of it's self, yet a well manicured lawn... well you probably get the idea.

Why Why Why?

So, who am I and why am I here? I needed to create a bio for myself this was what I came up:

Corey has been involved with The Tony De Blase Scholarship, since its inception. In the past, flipping Hamburgers during Sunday Barbecues to help endow the scholarship. During the last three years, he has been sitting on the selection committee, for the Pride Foundation. amazed at the incredible quality of young scholars, working to shape their world. He is a fiercely loyal friend, When Corey isn't working as a spice merchant in a Pike Place spice shop, he can be found tending his small, but sincere pumpkin patch and learning the craft of beekeeping.

But that is just a facet of the whole of me. I am pushing 50 years old, and feel pretty darn good about my self physically, which may have some effect as to why I have chosen to enter. But even that isn't the entire story. For the past few years, I have been sitting on the committee that selects recipients of the scholarship money. Each year, I have been completely blown away by the caliber of the applicants. As a gay man, who lived through the worst of the AIDS years, losing my brother and partner in the process, I have gone through the last 15 + years feeling bruised and damaged. The scholarship has given me a chance to see a hopeful future, through the eyes and works of some phenomenal young people that has been my honor to meet.

So, I asked the question, how can we raise more money to help these people more? This was my solution

I guess I'm going to enter...May God have mercy on my soul

Where did the journey start? Father's day dim sum? No, it was already careening out of control by then. It all started innocently enough. May early June maybe, someone said "why don't you enter the Northwest leather boy contest". Simply enough, No popped out of my mouth and I figured that was the end of it. I hadn't realized that resistance was futile and that was just the seed that had been planted. By father's day, I guess I was ripe. That afternoon, I found myself sitting next to a former International Ms Leather title holder, who shared with me a lot of insight and a LOT of information. By that evening, I was pretty sure that I would take the plunge.

It's true I love attention, but I also had a clear goal, that didn't have anything to do with me. My main reason for entering is to raise money for the Tony De Blase Scholarship. A project, I have been involved with ever since my then Mentor said at dinner one night in, about starting a scholarship. I think even then, He had even planned on naming it the Tony De Blase scholarship, so He must have been working on the project a while before telling announcing His intentions.

That's when the fund raising began. That's when the fun started. Boot, Buzz and BBQ's at the Seattle Eagle became a regular event. I was the grill guy. What fun. Cruise the bar without leaving the patio. almost every event netted me a new set of phone numbers and generally one good date a month! Oh yeah, we made a few hundred dollars at each of the BBBB events too.

Over a course of a couple years, the scholarship was 'endowed' meaning my Mentor's dream was a reality and although very small, the scholarship could pay out of the interest it was earning. This , for those who don't know, is a VERY big deal. remeber I was flipping hamburgers, others were shining boots and giving and getting clipper cuts. This wasn't the A list writting checks at a black tie gala. It was working class gay men donating time talent and tips to accomplish our goal